January 29, 2015
By Jackie Paladino
Here. I. Lay.
shaking shaking shaking shagging shaking shaking shaking shaking shagging shaking shaking shaking shaking shaking shagging shaking shagging shaking shagging shaking shagging shaking shaking shaking shagging
s h a k i n n ggg
I took too much.
Arms close inside, Palms open wideTo catch. These pieces of me that explode
Into the skyFlying high, FLYING highFucking HIGHThey do flyAway.
While I still lay below, watching them go,shaking and shaking and shaking and shagging and shaking
I’m not cold, I’m not scaredBut I just might be breaking
Apart? These atomsThese moleculesElements inside
Splashing around,Left to right,Up then down,Swirling, profound
Is what they compose.Or at least tried toBefore they flew, up there,Before leaving me belowEmpty.Never said goodbye –
It was onlyA matter of timeFor they are incurably humanBut I don’t identify as human
You see,I’m more like a blenderThat won’t blend
I’m sorry you ordered“one peanut butter banana cookie crunch smoothie”With your simple request:Equality of each
To explode,To penetrate and dissolve in your taste budsHarmoniously
rejoicing at the prospect of creation.
Mix, blend, slice, dice,Pour that almond milk,Crush that ice
Mix, blend, slice, diceDribble the peanut butterCookie crunchBanana, ohhhhEverything nice.
This creation seems complete,Smooth and silky I appearFrom blending onRepeat.Repeat.Repeat.
Yet when you go to sipYou’re surprised at what you tasteOnly a bit of peanut butter, too much cookie crunch& the banana? A disgrace.
You try again,Still the sameToo much banana, not enough peanut butterThe cookie crunch: LAME
I Don’t. Blend. Well.Too many elements, inspirations, validationsThat opposeLike my macho brotherWearing pantyhose
I don’t blend wellI’m a compositionThat’s never completeFor bringing order toThe chaos inside isAn impossible feat
I don’t blend well,Inside or outInspiration soaks in,Then perspires about
Fluid. Is what I am,The only label that rings trueFor I’m not always laughingNot always cryingNot always baring the same point of view
But if I was never fully composedNever fully one, whole, or containedHow can I feel like I’m breaking?Like my insides have drained?
I'm busy working on my blog posts. Watch this space!
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